My overall theme of 2015 was to say yes, which is something I certainly did a lot of (and I have the waist line and credit card debt to show for it).
While it served me well for the most part, I started realizing towards the latter half of the year that I needed to adjust my philosophy. It isn’t about always saying yes, but understanding the difference between “yes” and “FUCK yes.”
The whole philosophy of Fuck Yes or No is borrowed from one of my favorite bloggers, Mark Manson. In a nutshell, the rule of Fuck Yes or No is as follows:
While this is mainly applied to dating for the purposes of his post, I think it can be much, much broader than that in ways both big and small.
Instead of eating out a few crappy meals a week, I can choose to eat out one truly amazing meal every week or so. Instead of taking a bunch of little weekend trips, I can save money and go on one bad ass trip – maybe even finally make it over to Europe. Instead of dating a few different people at once to avoid feeling too attached to any one of them, I can let myself focus on one person and truly get to know them and not be so afraid to be vulnerable.
Of course, there are going to be plenty of things I have to do that I don’t have the “FUCK yes” feeling about, but I don’t need to give these things as much mind space and energy as I have in the past. I also don’t need to put them off and have them hang over my head (god damn expense reports…)
In 2016 I’m going to allow myself to pause a beat before giving my yes. I’m going to be protective of my time and only share it with those who bring value to my life (and hopefully vice versa). I’m going to put my phone away and be present in the moment (friends – please call me out on this). And in the times when I do choose the “FUCK yes,” I’m going to give it everything I got.
So here’s to more beers (and cider and tea), laughs, memories, and conversations with those who matter most. Let’s do this thing.
Ah – and here are some other misc. things I learned:
- I don’t need to rely on dating apps to find someone worth my time and energy – it’s still possible for it to happen the old fashioned way
- Red wine is delicious
- No one can define what hurts you besides you
- Uncomfortable conversations can often yield positive results if they are solution oriented
- Mucinex is a miracle drug
- My hair can actually hold a curl with one of those wand things